tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5303713672421969742024-03-12T21:34:46.094-07:00A Wordly WomanWords are my world. Metaphors are quite my cup of tea. I'm working on an adventure novel with airships, pirates, and plague. I'll get published one of these days...wanna come along for the ride?Anamihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02743760367690666082noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-530371367242196974.post-80471215682343445122012-08-27T19:30:00.004-07:002016-04-08T19:49:46.165-07:00Eulogy for my dog.More than a month ago I had to put down my dog Tango. My husband and I
lived with him for 9 years and in the end he suffered from extreme
separation anxiety. This was my first experience of this kind of loss
and grief and the first time I have had to euthanize a pet. I am still
struggling to come to terms with it, and I'm sure there will be many
pieces of writing that will eventually bring me to find my peace. Here
is the first. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4OqMMXonKg3OdwhHKGlC1jwiCuLXMlJi0yfa0voD71TDf1CN7KSnxAZ0d-w8hreg5y_H7GBtbuT_Un_R44Hwam8Ni2waN-NN5tE6Iift-cqhrmZJTr1Ct39GVy4-XRLDh1Iko51-H2Y1H/s1600/414050_10150629963295805_647526995_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4OqMMXonKg3OdwhHKGlC1jwiCuLXMlJi0yfa0voD71TDf1CN7KSnxAZ0d-w8hreg5y_H7GBtbuT_Un_R44Hwam8Ni2waN-NN5tE6Iift-cqhrmZJTr1Ct39GVy4-XRLDh1Iko51-H2Y1H/s320/414050_10150629963295805_647526995_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div dir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-8c85293b-f8ec-5642-8128-dddb2431232b" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Humane </span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">After you realize that no drug, no technology, no person, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">can save the one you care for;</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">in the moment you accept </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">there is no help against this sickness, you are no superhero, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">and there will be no rescue </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">from the responsibility of this day,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">a day when suffering is measured by the drop</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">and a reckoning of bare rational scales will not balance--</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">and--Love defects.</span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">It’s like a second-hand coat: tattered, worn--</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">shaped by a dear life of memories--</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">that has stains you'd rather not think about--</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">that is frayed at the edges with too many strings you know not to pull--</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">that is familiar--</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">instead, Turns. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Reveals magician sleeves</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">and the tucked-away secret now held with purpose:</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">this cold solution, this sharpest point. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Love crosses the battle line</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">to ally with forces clamoring for death.</span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">It's a whip-lash, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">and it will leave you raw.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">A small creature skinned of its </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">hide.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Twitching to feel the world suddenly inside-out.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Here, a keen tooth scrapes along everything soft in you,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">hunting it down with dreadful skill.</span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Be prepared: you may wish you were never tender.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">You may imagine yourself, alone,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">the only member of a bruised planet.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Or you may find the courage</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">to hold this hard truth to the center of your chest, where, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">unprotected, you will feel the utter warmth,</span></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">powering the heart of the final breath given.</span><a name='more'></a><div style="-qt-block-indent: 0; -qt-paragraph-type: empty; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
<br /></div>
Anamihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02743760367690666082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-530371367242196974.post-38134299242417413312012-06-07T09:54:00.002-07:002012-06-07T09:54:57.315-07:00A couple marks for non-rejectionI am celebrating minor victories now after a line of rejections. First, I found out I won second place in the County Fair for the first chapter of a SF/F novel contest. I am delighted that the Fair has a literary arts category and rather pleased that I have earned a ribbon. Mine was an urban upbringing, and I have never won anything in the Fair before. I'm happy that I received two free tickets to the Fair and I can go listen to a SF/F panel, author interviews, and compete in Extreme Bobbing for Apples. Now that's a full weekend!<br />
<br />
The second minor victory is that I heard back from On The Premises, an online literary magazine. My story "Effervescent" has made it to the next round in their latest contest. Of 318 entries, they selected 10 for the final round. This means I will get a detailed critique of my story. It also means that in a week I might find out I won some money and publication--they pay semi-pro and pro rates. So this could be the first piece of writing I've had published in a decade. I am really excited. I quite like the magazine, too. You should go read some of their back issues because they have a great premise. ;-) (http://www.onthepremises.com/).<br />
<br />
Along the novel front, things are going really well. I have been steeped in restructuring narratives for the last month or so, but it has really been paying off. On my wall in my office I have a six foot long section of poster board with a universal Aristotelian story line pinned with some wool yarn. Along the line I have now locked in the position of several major scenes, represented by post-it notes. It's funny, the first version of my novel was a wild rush of 25K words in one weekend. All the ideas splattered out messy, creative, and vast because it was pure story and character, not scenes. Then the second version was the beginning of writing the particular scenes to tell the story, and that became very much dictated by this happens, then this happens, then this happens next. Now I am really doing some deliberate structuring. Thinking about theme, thinking about how my two narratives will play off one another, evaluating the perspective the scene is told from, and making sure one scene flows to the next raising questions or tensions. Now I kinda feel like I am managing data. Still generating scenes, but also doing a lot of big picture thought work. It's not always visible work but it is work. So much of writing is like that though. And writers need to have significant intrinsic motivation in order to succeed.<br />
<br />
Motivation is something I have been thinking about lately. I have received some extrinsic motivation. The pretty red ribbon, a check, bragging rights--these are all extrinsic motivators. I remember way back when I though of being an English teacher I had to take a class on Education Psychology and we learned about motivating students. Turns out the teacher who hands out candy when students do their work often does motivational damage. One day the teacher runs out of candy and the student no longer receives an expected reward and is less motivated to do their homework. Also, what does candy have to do with homework anyway? A student who comes up with her own reasons for doing her homework, ones that don't depend on external factors, will consistently do her work and learn.<br />
<br />
I had a really great conversation last week (a week and a half ago?) with my writing group about of all things, faith. I'm an atheist so I automatically grow slightly uncomfortable using that word after years of philosophy class debates where it was the most frustrating aspect of conversations with theists. But life is full of little ironies and I keep coming back to the notion that writing--being alone in a room with a blank paper or screen--is an act that requires a certain amount of faith. I have a quote next to my computer that reads, "Some things you have to believe in order to see." That is writing. It always starts with nothing and an author believes in her ideas, in her abilities, and because she believes, she can work. And when she works she makes something that was not there before. Writers make something from nothing. That's one of the coolest aspects of writing. There was a time when each of the most influential books I love simply did not exist. They never would have existed if the writer hadn't believed that he or she could write. <br />
<br />
So the long and short of it is that I am delighted to find some external recognition. I was happy to post to Facebook about my visible successes with my writing. I will gladly pin my Fair ribbon to the wall in my office. These are external rewards and I value them. But far more valuable to me is that ultimately I write for myself. I write because I want to make something from nothing. I want to tell a good story that entertains and maybe sometimes informs, that has reader impact. And I never want to forget that for me, the parts of my writing that aren't visible to others are the most challenging and rewarding. And where the magic happens. Anamihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02743760367690666082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-530371367242196974.post-4952092556654460042012-04-23T11:17:00.002-07:002012-04-23T20:02:05.275-07:00More thriving on rejection"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." Howard Thurman said that.<br />
<br />
Lately, in addition to working on my novel, I've been sending out short stories to professional markets. The rejections have been coming in, marching in impersonal forms. Funny how encouraging it then feels when someone takes the time to send me a personal rejection. I got one of those yesterday and it felt like a margarita on a hot day. Refreshing and fortifying. And I may have a less-than-sober, clear-headed, admiration for the Editor now. Oh well.<br />
<br />
The truth is, this whole putting my work out there thing is a little intimidating sometimes. I have moments when I feel vulnerable, like I've gone to high school without my clothes on, or farted in front of someone I wanted to impress. I'm still learning and my mistakes are written down for all to read. But the more I expose myself, the more likely I am to learn from my readers about my mistakes. So I'm trying to have patience with myself and lean into the discomfort. And though I struggle sometimes, it does make me feel optimistic about my ability to grow and become a better writer.<br />
<br />
Plus, it means I feel very alive.Anamihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02743760367690666082noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-530371367242196974.post-32905197254379097132012-03-22T23:44:00.002-07:002012-03-23T01:24:43.579-07:00Getting encouraged by rejectionI got my rejection from Clarion West today. And I find it encouraging--in both the language they used and in the fact that the process of applying helped me take a big step forward in getting my work out there. I've had measurable growth as a writer in these last six months or so. I'm on the right track. My confidence in my abilities is solid. I am really excited by what I'm working on and what I hope to achieve.<br /><br />I would have loved to go to Clarion West and workshop with other serious writers. But since space was limited, I really appreciate that they said "no" in such a positive manner. It reaffirms that they would be really cool to work with.<br /><br />I'm still improving on my own though: that means that next year my application will be even better. I know I'm looking forward to seeing what I'll be able to imagine and create. FutureMe is even more awesome as a writer. Professional. Dedicated. Daring. Ready to learn and experiment as much as possible so she can keep growing. I totally believe in that woman--she rocks.<br /><br />So I can find gratitude, even in rejection.Anamihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02743760367690666082noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-530371367242196974.post-62086681618776906792012-03-21T22:55:00.004-07:002012-03-23T16:16:11.410-07:00Workshop WednesdayI had a wonderful day today workshopping some writing with my writer's group. It was lovely to see them again and we had a special birthday lunch to celebrate L.'s birthday two days ago. And we workshopped three pieces and then I laid out my plot for my novel and received some great feedback. It was something of a revelation to just talk plot and structure with other writers. It seems like in all my college career and in all the previous writing groups I've been to--there's not enough open dialogue about how to tell a story. Especially on the scope of a novel.<br /><br />It was such an inspiring and energizing meeting that later when I got home and found an email rejection from Clarion San Diego, it was far easier to shrug it off. Oh well, I have novel plot decisions to make and revisions to write. No time to mope really.<br /><br />I love the work I submitted to Clarion. It was my best work. I stand behind that. I want to do more of that quality work. And sure being admitted to Clarion would have helped improve my writing, but I'll figure it out on my own too. And maybe the independent path is the more rewarding one.<br /><br />Eh. 10 days until I hear back from Clarion West. If they don't accept me either, I'm going to have to plan some seriously awesome stuff to do during those 6 weeks. Like a Yosemite trip for rock climbing and writing. And Worldcon. And my own serious burn on producing the first complete draft of my MS. I'm excited by all those prospects.Anamihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02743760367690666082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-530371367242196974.post-51653486859329051282012-03-18T23:13:00.001-07:002012-03-18T23:13:30.550-07:00This is rivoting.<br /><br />http://www.ted.com/talks/view/lang///id/1368Anamihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02743760367690666082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-530371367242196974.post-18929055055642191932012-02-05T21:23:00.000-08:002012-02-05T21:51:44.839-08:00I have been working like crazy lately on short fiction, preparing my application to the Clarion Workshop. But I've been meaning to gather awe-inspiring poets for more than a month. So creating this was a worthy distraction. Who are your favorite poets?<br /><br />Really Good Poets:<br />Andrea Gibson: Probably my favorite poet (as much as I have one). Here's some crazy wonderful love poetry that makes me love her:<br />An awesome political poem: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoWNnt4Fdh4" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoWNnt4Fdh4</a><br />Real optimism: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=untGVUfVGdo" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=untGVUfVGdo</a><br />Who wouldn't fall in love with her? <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JA7AaBSroq8" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JA7AaBSroq8</a><br /><br />Sarah Kay: She gave an excellent TED talk about poetry then performed two great poems: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0snNB1yS3IE" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0snNB1yS3IE</a><br />Cute and Clever: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIAQENsqcuM&feature=related" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIAQENsqcuM&feature=related</a> Awesome poem about friendship: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgNdTnIGDRs" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgNdTnIGDRs</a><br /><br />Saul Williams (I don't always get his poems but this one is brilliant):<br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1S7qTsW5SY" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1S7qTsW5SY</a><br /><br />Talor Mali-- this is a classic poem:<br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpog1_NFd2Q&feature=related" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpog1_NFd2Q&feature=related</a><br /><br />tanya davis: she writes true. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs</a> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soleJsaBZD4&feature=related" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soleJsaBZD4&feature=related</a><br /><br />Buddy Wakefield: original and powerful: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIr4pL9P0SA" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIr4pL9P0SA</a><br /><br />Gary Soto. Just one of my favorite poems ever. <a href="http://www.akoot.com/garysoto10.html" target="_blank">http://www.akoot.com/garysoto10.html</a>Anamihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02743760367690666082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-530371367242196974.post-7218463113252420712011-10-03T14:49:00.000-07:002011-10-06T09:34:42.059-07:00e.e. cummings poem<pre>suppose<br /><br />Life is an old man carrying flowers on his head.<br /><br />young death sits in a cafe<br />smiling, a piece of money held between<br />his thumb and first finger<br /><br />(i say "will he buy flowers" to you<br />and "Death is young<br />life wears velour trousers<br />life totters, life has a beard" i<br /><br />say to you who are silent.--"Do you see<br />Life? he is there and here,<br />or that, or this<br />or nothing or an old man 3 thirds<br />asleep, on his head<br />flowers, always crying<br />to nobody something about les<br />roses les bluets<br />yes,<br />will He buy?<br />Les belles bottes--oh hear,<br />pas cheres")<br /><br />and my love slowly answered I think so. But<br />I think I see someone else<br /><br />there is a lady, whose name is Afterwards<br />she is sitting beside young death, is slender;<br />likes flowers.</pre>Anamihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02743760367690666082noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-530371367242196974.post-74912890311758741112011-04-30T22:07:00.000-07:002011-04-30T22:16:44.007-07:00New toolsI'm deeply impressed with some new writing tools that my tech savvy husband brought to my attention. I've participated in NaNoWriMo twice now, and I loved the simple bar graph that measured daily progress toward the 50K word goal. Now I have something I can customize, like that, for my own projects. Woot. Plus the same open source programmer has made something a thousand times better than my old word processor, called FocusWriter. And there was much rejoicing.<br /><br />Seriously, if you write go check out what this guy has done. <br /><br />http://gottcode.org/focuswriter/<br /><br />I'm feeling really excited and optimistic. I've got some great new tools and I'm working on a rough draft of a fun new project. Who knows, it might even be the start of regular blog posts. Now that would be something, wouldn't it?Anamihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02743760367690666082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-530371367242196974.post-44522422882540462312011-01-24T13:31:00.000-08:002011-01-24T16:59:29.357-08:00courage: and tailing tells to donkeysA friend told me a joke a couple weeks ago that seems relevant.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"> There is a pirate captain sailing in her own ship, determined to out-run the British naval forces. Her first mate is pacing furiously, pulling her hair out, wringing her hands, micro-managing. Finally in disgust the first mate shouts to the captain, "they are almost within firing range sir, we are sure to have our blood shed today! We must give up!"<br /><br /> The captain stands still, shakes her head, even smiles a little at some inner joke, then she speaks. "No. We will fight until we have no other option. Now, bring me my red shirt, so they can not tell if their bullets have found their mark."<br /><br /> Yet no sooner had the first mate returned with the red shirt, than a sailor from the lookout shouted, "The Spanish forces are approaching from the north! We're to be trapped between two enemies. It's ten ships against one!"<br /><br /> A dreadful silence falls. And the Captain holds her head high. "We will fight!" She cries out. Then after a moment of thought, in a quieter voice, she requests of her first mate, "and bring me my brown pants." </span><br /><br />It seems relevant because yesterday I had a good conversation with a friend who wants to be an actress. She wants to be one badly enough that should she not get into a graduate program for acting again (last year was unsuccessful), she will literally quit her job and give it a go anyway. Surviving as an actress. She's afraid. She hopes it won't come to that. I'm afraid for her. I'm also half in love with her for loving her own potential, her own art, so purely. She's got the courage to go all in, betting on herself.<br /><br />Today I struggled to work on my Work In Progress (WIP), a murder mystery novel that I've been stabbing at from many angles with many different sharp objects. Ever play pin the tail on the donkey when you were young? You spend most of the game getting spun around by your friends while blindfolded until you're too dizzy to walk straight. Then you must find the donkey and affix a tail to it. It works as a metaphor for my WIP, especially if the donkey is real and actively opposed to the idea of getting a prosthetic tail stapled to its butt.<br /><br />Sometimes I feel all woe-is-me I just got a hoof to the solar plexus and now all my murder motives are nothing but loose mucus. Then I remember, hey, I'm in the game, I'm the captain, bring me my red shirt. I'm learning. And you know what, if it gets worse, bring me my brown pants. I'll be here, working. Everyday.Anamihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02743760367690666082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-530371367242196974.post-22044925413918936782010-09-05T22:10:00.000-07:002011-01-24T15:05:08.503-08:00a beginning<p>So, a long time ago, I was babysitting this 4 or 5 year old boy and it was his bedtime. It was an unbelievable hassle to get him to brush his teeth and put on pajamas and all that rigmarole. When I finally had him tucked under his covers, and I'd finished reading the longest book he could find, I breathed a sigh of relief. I was beyond ready to close the door and go downstairs and get some homework done. But as I was leaving the bed, telling him to go to sleep now and have sweet dreams, he looked up at me and said: "I don't know how to sleep." </p><p>That sentence stopped me. It felt like something solid; it struck me and I felt it long after I had spun some baloney to the kid about counting sheep. Truth was, when I thought about it, I didn't know how to sleep either. I was 17 years old and I'd gone to sleep every night of my life, doing what I didn't know how to do.</p><p>Now, years later, a friend tells me "you're stronger than you think." He wasn't speaking in Cliché, he was actually talking about my rock climbing abilities, about how I should try climbing harder routes. It's the same for me with writing. I have a thousand journal entries, and pieces of stories, and they're good, but I really need to attempt the harder route. I have an excess of insecurity though. And a sneaking suspicion that that really is _all_ that is holding me back.<br /></p><p>That's why tonight, I'm thinking about the little boy I once knew, and that moment, when he told me he didn't know how to sleep. I'm thinking about doing what I don't know how to do. I'm beginning to understand that that is the only place anyone starts from, when reaching for a dream. <br /></p>Anamihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02743760367690666082noreply@blogger.com0